How Much We Know
by JustMeWritingStuff
Summary: Just a short story about life. Wen finds himself in a situation with Olivia he never could have thought of. After a fight and misunderstandings is he capable to handle it without hurting Olivia or himself?


Wen sat on the couch in the living room, worried where she would be and if she's alright. It was getting late it was already pretty dark outside. He had called the others an hour ago but they knew as much as him. Well, maybe less. He knew why she was gone and he wished deeply it wasn't because of him. Suddenly he heard a car stopping and the slamming car doors. Automatically, he stood up and walked to the door. It was a little surprise to find her and a taxi driver as he opened the door. His face clearly showed a shocked but relieved expression. She walked past him while the taxi driver began to speak: "I get 30 Dollars." "What?" He asked confused. "She said she hasn't got money and you would pay. I get 30 Dollars." The taxi driver opened his hand and made a gesture. He sighed and reached for his wallet. He paid him and closed the door. To his luck he found her in the kitchen leaning with her hands on the table. Her hair covered her face so he couldn't see it. She looked so fragile just like every day.

"Are you alright?" He asked quietly while he made a step towards her. Olivia nodded slightly, he almost didn't notice.

"Where have you been?" She shook her hand and shrugged her shoulders.

"You don't know?" He asked disbelieving. _How could somebody not know where he went? Or doesn't she want to tell me? _He thought to himself. She didn't react. For some reason he knew that something bothered her and for sure it was also his fault.

"What's going on?" He asked.

"Like you don't know." She snapped at him.

"I'm sorry. Can we please talk?" He meant it. Yes, it was true. He was sorry and he wanted to clear things between them.

"Please, leave me alone." She whispered just as loud so he could hear. He sighed.

"I would like to explain everything. It wasn't how it seemed. I swear." She turned around furiously Her hands clenched into fists. Now that he was able to look at her face, he felt guilt rise up in his body. Her eyes were red and puffy and you could tell she had been crying _… and it's all my fault. _He thought.

"It's never how it seems, isn't it?" She shouted at the top of her lungs. The atmosphere was filled with anger and heat. She stormed past him but quickly had to stop because he had grabbed her wrist and turned her around. The smell of alcohol hit his face.

"Have you been drinking?" He asked shocked. It was unusual for her. She never had been drinking in her entire life. Well, maybe he just didn't know. _ Does she have secrets which she won't tell me? _He thought to himself. He was sure she wasn't the kind of girl who would lie to her friends. But how much did he really know about the girl that was standing in front of him avoiding his gaze by looking to the ground. Tears were rolling down her cheeks slowly.

"Let go off me. You're hurting me." She stumbled over her words and there was fear – yeah, it was fear … of him what you could see in her eyes as she looked up for a second. He then realized how anger controlled him right now. Still he was furious. It wasn't his intention to hurt her but sometimes – not often – he loses control and anger builds up in him out of nowhere. He's afraid of what he is capable in these moments if he can't calm down somehow or someway.

"I'm sorry." He whispered and took a few steps backwards. He sat down on one of the kitchen's chairs and rested his elbows on the table in front of him. His head laid in his hands and he faced the table. The last few years he hadn't been out of control and thought it was over now; he is finished with his bad side. But unfortunately – seen a minute ago – he isn't.

The clicking of high heels on a wooden floor caught his attention. The only room with that kind of floor was the living room. She must have gone there. Suddenly they were near again. _What the hell was she doing? _He thought. He lifted his head up to see her standing in front of him with two glasses and a bottle of vodka.

"It doesn't help but it lets you forget for a short time." She softly said while she sat down on the other chair across from him. She quickly filled the two glasses and handed him one before she took a big sip from her own. In no time her glass was empty and she poured it full again. He never knew she was able to drink that fast. And there was his question again: How much did he really know about the girl in front of him drinking already her third cup of vodka while he hadn't even started with his first.

They were quiet. No talking. Just drinking. After the first bottle was empty, she stood up and quickly got another one. And another one. Until there was no more alcohol in the house. He was still able to think straight since he hadn't been drinking on this day before, unlike her. By now she was fully drunk but it didn't show much.

"Why do you drown your memories in alcohol?" He asked out of nowhere and she became quiet for a second, hesitated with an answer.

"Why shouldn't I? There are many things I want to forget." She was serious and didn't seem drunk as she answered. It was like she just played to be drunk and was now completely out of her act.

"But unfortunately they come back the next morning." She looked away again. Ashamed of what he would think of her. She never made a big deal out of it. It seemed to become normal for her, like a routine. The last ten years she secretly had been drinking. She would go out late and tell her grandma that she had to do a project for school with someone or often called and said she would stay the night at a friend's house but already was too drunk to get back home without her gram noticing. Instead she stayed in a motel. She hated lying to her gram. She hated the alcohol, the beers and the vodka. But what else could she have done?

It all started when she was eleven. Around the time when her dad was in prison for a year and was allowed to write letters. The day she got her first letter was the day she drank her first beer. It isn't something an eleven year old girl would do but she found a few bottles in the basement and thought everything would be better in the morning.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"It isn't something I'm proud of."

"Who else knows about it?"

"Nobody."

"How long have you been doing this?" He curiously asked after a few seconds. His questions were intensive but her answer was just the shrugging of her shoulders. She knew exactly when she began. The year, the date and the time. But she wasn't going to tell him. It was already too hard to confess it to herself that it had become a problem, an addiction. More or less. Even if she could stop, she wouldn't. The few hours where she cared about nothing were great and she didn't want to lose that. She already lost too much in her life and she was only twenty one.

Her mom. It happened in a car accident. A truck crashed into the car side where she was sitting. She was dead immediately.

Her dad. He's in prison for eleven years now and still has got a lot of time left. She had ended the contact to him due to circumstances. She hates talking about it.

Her gram. An old and wise woman who died not long ago. Her weak heart couldn't make it anymore. She was the only family member she knew that was left. But after her death she just had her friends and she didn't want to lose them by scaring them away with her drinking problem.

"How much did you did today?"

"I don't know exactly." She quickly said. Maybe a bit too quick.

"Just tell me."

"I'm tired. Can't we just go to bed and leave it like this?" He sighed. He didn't want to fight with her but he wasn't going to leave it like this.

"Can't be that much. Just tell me. Come on." He smiled weakly and stood up as she did.

"You don't want to know." She said quietly and avoided his gaze.

"I do, because I care about you." She sighed and closed her eyes. Her bottom lip began to shake and tears fell down her soft pink cheeks. She then covered her face with her hands and slightly turned around.

"Don't cry." He said before he made his way over to her and pulled her into his arms. Her head laid on his chest and his head on top of hers while he stroke her hair, trying to comfort her. Her sobs came uncontrolled and unregular.

This wasn't how he thought the conversation between them would go on. But it was better than he imagined. Maybe he would break up with him; leave him without saying a single word or pack her things and go. That's how he imagined the worst case scenario. Or maybe screaming and slamming doors and later he would knock on her door and say how sorry he was. But the way it went never crossed his mind as he opened the door three and a half hours ago. He thought she would be mad at him for what happened yesterday. Instead they talked and drank. It was more peaceful. No bad words. Well, it was tensed up in the beginning but not how he thought.

The crying girl in his arms. So fragile. There always has been this fear in him that she would break if he did something wrong. It wasn't easy for him too. The pressure from everybody on the outside to treat her right. _"If you hurt her, I'll hurt you."_ Stella's words often repeated in his mind. She was being serious. He knew that and the others, Mo, Charlie and Scott almost said the same things. After yesterday he had a bad feeling. Not because of his friends but because of Olivia. He didn't want to lose her that would break him. But he also would understand if she left him. What he did wasn't fair. He knew.

Her hair smelled fruity, he noticed as he kissed the top of her head and pulled her closer.

Her arms which she first held safely in front of her now found their way around him.

Her sobs were softer than before. You almost couldn't hear them. But he felt them against his chest. She calmed down slowly.

"Thanks." She whispered unclear.

"What for?" He asked confused and shrugged her shoulders again. It then was quiet for a while. Until he broke the silence:

"Where have you been the night? I was worried." The question irritated her so she pulled back out of his arms and looked at him with anger and confusion in her eyes.

"Where I have been?" She snapped at him.

"I think I had every right to stay away from you. You lied to me" She enlarged the distance between them and almost shouted at him.

"I didn't mean to hurt you."

"You could have thought about that earlier."

"I just don't understand why it's such a big deal for you. I thought you trusted me."

"I do trust you but you knew I wouldn't agree so you've got nothing better to do to do it behind my back?"

"I'm sorry but it was very important to me."

"You know how hard it is for me to go there once a month. I can't believe you went to visit him. I didn't even tell him about us. Oh god. What did you do? What did you tell him? Why did you even have to see him?"

"He's your dad. Why do you hide him?" She became quiet and just stared at him before she continued:

"Do you know why he is in prison?" He shook his head.

"He…" Her bottom lip began shaking again.

"He killed a man. The man… he had a family. Two little girls and a pregnant wife." She tried to calm herself. "Can you imagine what it felt like for a ten year old girl to know that her dad destroyed two families? His own and a strange one. When I was younger I sometimes drove past their house but they had to move not long after the death of the man, the husband, the father because they hadn't got enough money. I've no idea where a single mother of three children can have a decent life. And sometimes I blame myself. Maybe I could have done something. Maybe not." She paused for a second.

"So don't tell me just because he is my father and you had to meet him because it was important to you is an excuse for breaking a promise we made." He was speechless and it was already the third time he realized: How much did he really know about the girl standing in front of him shouting at him for a damn good reason. He felt miserable and stupid. _There is no way she is going to forgive me. _He thought.

"I'm sorry. I really am. I just didn't know these things and I wouldn't have done it if I knew."

"Why did you have to break our promise? I trusted you!"

"I had to ask him something."

"Was it worth it? What could be so important?" And then it just slipped out of his mouth. It should have been a surprise but he couldn't hold it back.

"I wanted to have his blessing to ask you to marry me."

Silence killed every word. She was shocked and couldn't bring out a single word. The thought never crossed her mind. _Is he serious? _She thought to herself. A part of her couldn't believe him and the other part always thought he could get a more beautiful and better girl than her. But he never left. She truly loved him but wasn't the best in showing her feelings towards him. He was the first to kiss her. He was the first to say 'I love you'. He always was the one who made the first step. She barely did something. But when he would kiss her she kissed back. When he would say 'I love you' she responded with an 'I love you too'. And every time when he made the first step she made the second. She never thought it was enough but for him it was. She just didn't know and kept telling herself it could be over anytime soon. Maybe today or tomorrow.

Deep in thoughts, she didn't notice that he got down on one knee in front of her and reached in his pocket to pull out a small black box. He cleared his throat and began to speak when she came back into reality.

"Well, I wanted it to be more romantic and maybe not in the kitchen but now or never." He took a deep breath.

"To me it didn't matter if we would be poor and live under a bridge as long as you are by my side I know I'll be the luckiest man on earth. I don't want to lose you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. So… Will you make the honor to marry me, become my wife and spend the rest of our lifes with me?" She covered her mouth with her hands the whole time and was near to start crying again. Seeing him on his knee asking her to marry him was something she often dreamed of and now became real.

"Yes. Yes, of course." She happily nodded her head while he got up and put the beautiful ring – which had a small diamond formed as a heart in its middle – on her finger. He then swung his arms around her and twirled her around. She also laid her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. The moment he stopped and put her down again they shared a long and passionate kiss.

Even though he hadn't known everything about her he followed his heart which definitely said she was the one for him. The right one to get old together.

Maybe there were a few things they had to clear up after this night.

Maybe there were a few things she had to tell him.

But the rest of their lifes was quiet enough time.

~ How Much We Know


End file.
